Rhythme and beats....thum thum da..thum thum da da.. wow...pretty hard writting ur very first product...not to worry.. it shall be done soon....
letz rock....

mann...i duno wats blogger trying to do... this new layout of theirs is making me blur...if u all not shure, i thk u all can click on MANAGE POSTS tab to look at the past posts... hehe.. i also quite blur wif this... i hope they resume their previous layout... nicer n easier to manage...

Some of my thoughts that I wrote on my weblog...

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Applecrane

Friday, July 25, 2003

Relationship is such an amazing subject. I guess, no human can ever leave or be able to shake off this subject that choose to tag on to everyone of us like our own shadow. Relationship is the linkage between fellow human to another fellow human. Like life, relationship also has its ups and down, it resembles any rollar coaster rides too.

Don't you feel that it is really unbelieveable when once you were so close to this person and the next moment both seems to drift so far apart? Maybe it happened because of some reasons, or maybe it happened because it just have to happen. No one know and no one can expect its coming.

To some, being alone is peacefulness. While to some, being alone is a torture. I used to take it as a torture, but now it is just plain peace for me. Maybe like what others used to say, if situation does not suit you, change yourself to suit the situation. I had learned to adjust myself. Dinning alone is no big deal now. There is even no need for me to find comfort in staring hard at my handphone screen, let alone pretending to be waiting for someone. Maybe I am just be selfish for once. Keeping myself to myself only.

I saw my new classmates, but I looked at them, they have their own group since year one. Then I looked at myself again. I have to learn to be independent, I told myself. I know deep deep down that there is no way I can cut through those false smiles and feel the warmth underneath. Just like what my 07 classmates who have been together for two years revealed and commented last week when we met up at the canteen before class, that no one would close up the gap and bond as closely as how we did till now. Somehow, hearing that brought comforts into my heart, a sense of belongingness and a sense of warmth. My heart smile and the edges of my mouth curled up into a huge grin too. I love my old classmates. Although we are all seprated, we still have each other in our heart and we remember things that we had done. The most important thing is, we shared the most precious moments together in life. That is what that created the bond that we hold on so tightly in within our hands and where we love and respect each other.

There is no place like home, similarly, there is no friends like them. Hahaha, hope I had it rephrased correctly. Like me, I have a more quiet nature. If I do not know you well, I can only speak up to you in writen words. If I know you well, I can have meals with you without having the urge to rush back home or to keep counting my fingers on the dinning table. Hahaha. Therefore, especially in a big group, my chance of speaking up would even be less. But with my 07 classmates I enjoyed even only listening. It is just so different to have them around me, till that I do not mind being just the listener or the person in charge of laughing. And I would be the most attentive listener and the one who laughed the hardest. Hahaha. I love just doing these tiny bits for them. Because I know, everything that I do would not be small to them.

Relationship is such a funny subject huh?! Is always either you have it or you lose it. Well, the part that I would really want to improve in my life is my relationship towards everyone. I know it is very difficult not to pass judgements on anyone. We are human after all, and impressions are what we used to judge. But I am also sure, if I have the habit of viewing myself before I view others, I would be able to cut down on my judgements. I want to do with the least judgements on people, because only that then would it be fair to all people around me.

I am back to the old me for sometimes already. I see people as I see them to be and not what others want me to see them as. Meaning I won't allow myself to judge unless I experience it. Hope I am on the right way of life and that I would be happier.

My article "Yuan Liang, Yi Wang", "Forgive and Forget" is being selected to be publish in my school composition book. I am happy and thrill nevertheless, because finally my work got recognised again and now it is in book. But my dream of having my book published have not been reached yet. So I have to try harder and harder. No diamonds would be so attractive without polishing right! The process is always the hardest, while the end work is just a shift change of gear. Jimmy Teo, a writer businessman, once told me, "Yiling, dare to dream the wildest dream! We would not have be in this comfortable world if the people who invented all these inventions dare not dream right?!"

Tomorrow going to Yacht Club for a swim with Yuchun, Jinx, Mitchelle and Shirley would be tagging along but not swimming. A relaxing day for me tomorrow. I am going to unleash myself for a day and be back to fight my school battle. Hahaha. Take care all my dear friend! I love you guys lots!

yar! mine also. then always freeze also! so irritating! i wanted to send it off for reformating, but all projects on hand and i cant afford to let my laptop be away from me! also got a lot of irritating pop ups! argh!!!

hmm.. my laptop seems to be kinda laggy when i connect to the internet... sux..... when i change screen (alt tab) also v slow... wassup mann... reformat already still liddat... -.-""

i wan story!! i wan story!! i wan story!! hehehe...

guess wat.. i'm the marketing manager for ECOMOP... pls, i really nid all of ur help... help me ask any one of ur relatives if they want to buy the mop!! its cheaper than all the other competitors especially OSIM!!! hehe.. bang bang mang ba....

oops.. i juz realised i din change the calendar... oops.. hehe.. sorrie peeps.. will update it to JULY soon.. =))))))))))

hey guys.... sorry i have to stop on jun pei story first bcos the actor and the actress are too busy in their schedule. now mi the director also have to wait for them... so da pai... so i cannot continued my B4 story. anyway my next art piece will be part of the B4 story but this time the main character will not focus on Wilson n Jun pei but Pan n Joanne. This will be also a very interesting, thrilling, touching n extraordinary story....

Some of the sneak preview of the next coming story......

Main Character involved:
Pan( han yu pin yin) = Peter
Joanne= Joan
Supporting character:
Chris= Xin yan
Clar= Clariss
Jun pei= PJ
Fmily= Emily


< Pan finally have the courage to sit beside Joanne, " hi joan" >>
<"Hi Pan" still looking at her homework>>
<( abit disppointed) " how come she didn look at me? i must try harder to let her notice mi!!!" ( Pan's mind thinking)>>

more coming up
stay tune to Channel Blogger!!!

At last Jordan has return to the blogger!~
come on ppl itz getting boring here...no one seems to be writting anymore....wat happen to the stories and stuffs?
hey u ..tat's rite are u going to just read and log off? Come on chris..dun be tat lazy......comment on ur hair colour or something......
tat goes for u too...joan and clariss.....so rude..expect us to entertian u everytime? cum on~ put ur hands to work......

Lim shao....

errm.. who are these hong kong guys?

starting my first tutorial class tomorrow. kind of nervous. but i already know three girl friends already. and the best thing is they came ton me themselves and asked me to be with them in the projects. my worst fear had been minus. happy! hahaha.

yar i agree with peijun that no class would be like what we used to be. i miss the old days too. even though most of the time i am plainly listening and filling in the laughers. but i felt the warmth of the class and i love everyone. haiz. but have to learn to be independent anyhow! no one would remain by your side forever. right?!

now that i am more or less alone, i work on my own and depend on my own. easier to discipline myself also. because i am a lazy person, now with me alone, i did all tutorials on my own. hahaha. feel so happy also. well, i need to work hard in order not to stay back for half a semester more!

take care people! love you guys and see you around!

*huGZ*

fwah........ that is sooo funky.. dey actually brought MJ sets along to SG?? whoa.... hahahaha.. nice nice..

wah........ eh is tt a real song or u juz wrote it urself??

hey, this coming thursday 17 July, mahjong cum pizza party at PJ's house with 3 foreign students from Hong Kong! Dun worrie, they haf been quarantined and everything is fine.. lets show them our 07 hospitality n help them to enjoy their stay in SG!

btw, i've thot of ways on how we can 'expand' the use of the $50 voucher.. cuz its like, really little, and we haf many mouths' to feed, i was thinking, we could order like, 4 pizzas frm canadian (2-for-1) so we'll haf 8 altogether (which can only feed like, 16 hungry pple @ 3 slices per person) and we can order prob abt 2 pizzas frm pizza hut or smth.. considering the amt of pple who will be turning up, an estimate of 20 pple (one person might not come), its seems to be just alright for all of us 20.. if thr are less than 20 but more than 15 pple coming, this could still work.. juz tt a minority of us would haf the priviledge of eating more than 3 slices.. so how? we can juz order n eat at PJ's hse.. cuz like, haf to travel to bukit timah thr.. a bit sianz lae.. hehe.. den to order frm pizza hut, i can go down n purchase frm thr lor.. cuz the voucher is only for dine in or takeaway.. yup yup.. gimme ur opinions k? thnx...

I am a vision, I am justice
Never thought that I could love
Living in shadows, faded existence
It was never good enough
Within the darkness, you were the light
That shines away
You’re trapped in violence, I can be the man
That saves the day

I’m there for you
No matter what
I’m there for you
Never giving up
I’m there for you
For you

Someone has changed me, something saved me
Now this is who I am
Although I was blinded, my heart let me find that
Truth makes a better man
I didn’t notice that you were right in front of me
A mask of silence, we’ll put away so we can see

I’m there for you
No matter what
I’m there for you
Never giving up
I’m there for you
For you

For you


hmmm......wonder when can i Sing this.......

hugz. i am so afraid of loneiness. and it got my emotions carried away. i get so upset when i look around me and all i saw was unfamiliar faces. thanks for assuring me about the friendships you guys gave. i would work hard. i really would...

hey 10.. give urself n ur new classmates time to adapt.. whn i knew tt i was going into marketing, i felt damn lonely also cuz we all noe tt no one put marketing as their first choice.. n i was like 'fark mann...' worst, all my other frenz whom i noe who r going into mktg are not in the same class as me.. that made me felt even worse.. n i found out tt geraldine was in my class.. n i was like 'huuuuuuhhh'... but well, i got martina in my class too as i found out later.. so that wasnt so bad.. its like u having eileen in ur class.. martina n i never talk much whn we were in 07 also wat.. n now we're in the same class, both of us.. it like, erm.. how r we going to communicate? n we haf to stick wif each other for our project even if we may not like it.. but at least she's a familiar face and we can click averagely alrite.. n juz let things fall into place by themselves lor..

yes, eileen can get too carried away whn she talks abt smth tt excites her, but at least, hey, she's talking rite? better than both of u juz sit thr n both of u keep quiet rite?

which class r u in for FM? i may haf some frenz thr.. dun skip fm lec larh.. take it as a revision n go thru ur weak topics.. i noe how u feel.. nobody likes to repeat modules.. but well, wat to do? juz haf to put in the extra effort n go thru it again.. and this time, make sure that we get it right.. at ur fm tutorial u'll get to c ur classmates n try to fit in with them... they are juz as apprehensive as u r to them.. dun worrie... it will work out fine.. cheer up ya?

like wat pj said, we can all meet during lunch.. =))) i wan to sit at our usual table n eat lunch wif u all also!!! hehe.. tk care babe..

p/s: we're not superficial !@#$%^&*().. academic results do not make a person.. =))

First day of school, I met up with Eileen to go for our lecture. Our meeting place is the same place at canteen one, just outside the girl toilet, the first table. She was earlier then me. With 45 minutes to go, we sat there and chat. She was mainly the one chatting...

I have never felt so scared of going to school before. The first time of feeling alone, wanting to be with someone close to me and wanting to be home badly. The more Eileen chatted, the more lonely I felt. I was never close to her. She talks too much. While my character is someone who laughs along. I am all alone. Although I am not very talkative when my classmates were around me, I love the company of them, the warmth of their laughers. My world went into whirl. How am I going to fit in? Where do I go for lunch? I kept asking myself. The canteen was all fully packed, but I felt as lonely. I was actually glad when the school announced that Ngee Ann would be divided into zones and we are suppose to stay in the zone where we were assigned to. Because with less choice meaning I would just stay in canteen one or just go home. As I wouldn't have to ask myself where to go and what to do.

Today is the second day of school. The moment I stepped into school ground, I wanted to turn and go home. Because I was supposed to attend the subject that I failed, Financial Management. I dread it so much. Tried very hard to smooth myself down, told myself that I can pull through. But still in the end I ran off instead of attending the first lecture. I can imagine Lisha scolding me again.

Met Peijun, Martina and Joan on the way home. First time in my life I felt like hugging them. Martina told me she is all alone in Marketing too. I can totally understand her feelings. Although I still have Eileen in my lectures, I can't imagine how life in class would be like. I feel so alone! Who am I going to do projects with? What is my Financial Management class like? I have tons of questions on my mind! I can't relax my feelings in school. I looked around me, everyone have their friends with them, chatting and laughing. But I simply stand there and try to bury my head in my handphone screen. Trying to hide the fact that I am alone and to show that I was just waiting for my friends. In fact I was just waiting for time to pass, for everyone to be gone so that I can be myself again. Standing in the crowd, as if everyone was indicating a stare for me. I felt that I don't belong anywhere...

I didn't tell my dad that I failed one subject. So I gave myself a new target for this semester, 5 As. Hahaha. There would be a few moments when I won't be so sure of my target. But there too are moments when I am full of energy for them. That is because I want to do well, then to appeal for all my subjects to be completed during next semester so that I won't have to stay back half a semester more. If not, I won't be able to tell my dad when he asked why I still have to go back to school. Many time, I asked myself, and I doubted myself too. Will I be able to achieve them? Will I be able to maintain my energy throughout the semester and never lost faith? The main question is "Can I do it?"...

Wat nonsense....... We dun judge frenz by results rite.....If not wellson wont hv any frenz at all.......

you guys went out? take care...i know i wont be able to fit in. especially now you all results so good...then i even failed one. hahaha... i guess is natural to be left out huh!

hey pj.... u so lucky like me arh.. pick lemon... hahahahaha...... did wellson eat it for u or not... hahah.. u shd buy coke n eat together wif it.. lemon coke..heheheh

oh ya xin yan whenever u r reading this....can u freaking Auth my icq.....topid one le!! request than nv auth i am a busy man u know...tsk tsk..

Yo peepz.... wats up....sch is starting and for the first time you will be without your beloved C4....yupz looks pretty boring ahead rite...but hey u know wat gotta happen, will happen so try to bear with your boring classes ya... If you really need our support to pull through you can always get our autograph posters @ $19.90 or our new signiture album at $25.90.. First 100 to purchase tat will even get our very own designed EZ link Card while stock last!!!
Yeah..Take care with the new Sem starts and we love you.....Peace out...

C4
Shan shao ye
Marvin....